“Summer loving had me a blast. Summer loving happened so fast.” It’s a song we all know from the epic movie Grease and anyone who’s experienced a summer love before, knows they’re spot on. You’re on holiday, enjoying life and forgetting about your daily struggles, and BOOM, it happens. You see someone, look them in the eye and there it is. A spark, an attraction, a click – name it what you want, you both can’t deny it. After a bit of eye flirting you get to talking over a drink. And maybe it ends right there, maybe it doesn’t.
Of course, it’s totally possible that you’ll just have a one night stand. Nothing wrong with that, maybe that’s simply what you both needed and you got it. In the morning, you each go your separate ways and that’s it, you never hear from that person again. Yet that’s not always how it happens. Sometimes, a night becomes a morning, you go out brunching together and before you know it, you’re having dinner and go to each other’s hotel room – again. And so it continues. On the one hand, you’re aware of the fact that things are starting to get complicated but on the other, well, you don’t want to overthink it either. Living in the moment is a thing we all should do a little more and this is as good a time to do so as any other.
Yet it’s when you’re about to go home that reality really kicks in. Because contrary to what those conveniently-scripted movies may have you believe, a simple goodbye doesn’t do the trick in most cases. There are feelings involved, meaning there’s a real decision to make here. Do you break up, indulge in the heartbreak for a bit and then move on? Or do you both want to see where this leads? In that last scenario, these tips may help you to make that summer love last.
1. Serious talking
A thing you could already start to do before you both go home is talking about serious things. When you’re on holiday, it’s easy to forget about daily life yet if you really want to bond with this person, you’ll have to face reality. Talk politics, hobbies, family… whatever you find important works. And see how you (dis)agree on those subjects.
2. Plan to see each other again
Especially if you’re not living in the same city or maybe even the same country, it’s important to plan ahead if you want to keep the love alive. You could even plan a weekend away together while you’re still on holiday. If you don’t, chances are you will lose track of each other and someone may get hurt – not exactly a great start.
3. Plan to do normal things
A lot of planning, for sure, yet this one is at least as important as the previous ones. When you’re on holiday, everything comes easy, you’re relaxed and you see everything in a positive way. That’s not representative for daily life though, so make sure you get to know each other in less perfect circumstances too. Go see each other for a weekend and do the groceries, do some cooking, maybe even clean the house together. If you’re not capable of doing so without arguing, maybe you’re just not right for each other.
4. Go see friends and family
When you meet someone in normal life, after a while you’ll present them to your friends and family. That’s just how it goes. Yet with summer loves, we tend to forget to do so for way too long. So next time your love’s in town, get them to meet your loved ones so they’re really part of your normal life.
After a while, it just comes down to one thing: talking. You both have to decide whether or not this summer fling is a long term thing or not and the only way you can do so is by being honest. Talk about your ambitions, your desires, the future in general. Where do you see yourself in five years? Are your views compatible or not? It’s not easy, yet no one benefits from living in the unknown.